Saturday, 12 May 2012

Surgical Roulette

So, the surgeon came to see me yesterday afternoon.

Unfortunately he'd gone from "Not sure it's bad enough to do anything" to "Not sure how much we can save"

Apparently, the 4th blockage was so narrow, my consultant couldn't even get into it. There was inflammation in between the narrow bits, or "active disease" as they like to call it. The whole ulcerated, pussy, bleeding mess of it is gonna have to go.

Cue next wave of shock at the overwhelming effectiveness of my denial. Whining "But I didn't even know" is not proving very helpful.

So, a resection. Cutting a bit away. I haven't had one of those for 15 years!!! It is Not Good News.

Resections are more dangerous. They have to cut a section of bowel away and join the ends back together again. Cutting through the bowel risks sepsis - if any bowelly matter escapes into the blood or the join leaks, Suey will be in trouble.

With a resection, the whole bowel takes a nap. The shock literally paralyses it and it will only wake up in it's own good time. Usually 4 or 5 days, but sometimes never.....

Resections are more painful. You have the external cut and the internal one vying for attention.

Worst of all though (the one we rarely even whisper) is you only have so much bowel. Mr Gaunt-Looking-Surgeon reminded me, in that matter-of-fact way that surgeons do, that I don't have much left. You lot have about 4 metres, I'm down to 1.5. Continuing his mechanical appraisal, he reminded me that you need at least a metre to survive. Odd how surgeons leave statements like that hanging, as though I could somehow stop frivolously wasting bowel.

I didn't ask what then.

So, we start to fervently hope that my messy-bit is less than 50 cms long. Preferably waaaay less. Mr Gaunt-Looking-Surgeon thoughtfully reminded me that I'm only 39 and will certainly need more surgery in the future. The phrase "conserving all we can for next time" hung in the air.

There are lots of things I never think about. Close friends and family know the unwritten code. We never talk prognosis or consider "what-ifs" We pretend that we don't know how high my risk of bowel cancer is or how badly my osteoperotic  bones have already been eroded. But most of all, we don't discuss the TPN people.

As we speak, the lipidy, fatty gloop is drip-dripping into my main artery, plopping just above my heart. At this stage, it might as well be life support. I'm dangerously underweight, my bowels are all cloggy and without this frankenstein nutrition I would die. I look - even feel - remarkably sprightly for someone at death's door, but there we are.

I've joined the most unfortunate club in the world.

But real TPN people, well, they never eat again. Nothing. Ever. No lazy brunches, no coffee with friends, no  early cocktails or ice-crystal gin clinking in the sunshine. No champagne at weddings, no decadent chocolate treats, no consoling chicken man-flu soup, no anniversary dinners.....

This is the "less than a metre" fate.

I said I'd never do it, said it was a bridge too far. Funny how you never know exactly how far is too far until you get there, eh?

Oh well. Following this uncharacteristic consideration of the dark side, shall we pretend we never spoke of it? I prefer it that way.

And one last thing. I will be asking to keep the putrid mess they hack away. I'm not sure if they'll oblige, but I'm going to ask if they can cut it into four pieces and seal them in separate jars. Then, when I'm well enough, I will send them as gift baskets. One to Mr Duncan Smith, one to Mr Freud, one to Mr Grayling and one to Ms Miller. I hold them personally responsible for this particular crisis.

Mainly, because opposing them had to be done and it nearly killed me, but a tiny, tiny part of me may have believed them. Believed that if I just tried harder, worked more, ignored my symptoms, stopped being such a wimp, addressed my "illness behaviour" I really could work again.

The rotting, stinking, evil mass I will be sending them, seems a fitting reflection of their black hearts. Maybe, just maybe it will convince them that forcing people to work who are clearly incapable of doing so is murderous.

*******

Oh, and PS, let's not forget my claim for DLA was rejected, social services can't help me and there are no descriptors for ESA that would mean I qualify. According to our politicians, I'm just fine.

91 comments:

  1. I sometimes wish - a la Nick Cave - that I believed in an interventionist god

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  2. Sue, I am so sorry to hear of the deterioration in your health. Try and keep those indomitable spirits up, we all would miss your writings should you not write any more. Thinking of you... Angela

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  3. Yes, you're 'just fine'. As everybody up and down the country in pain and being told they're not is 'just fine'. So much for damn progress.

    Good luck, Sue. I'm not sure what else to talk of apart from 'luck'.

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  4. Sue, thinking of you and your amazing spirit.

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  5. Nothing wrong with you Sue, pah...yeah right. Hate, hate, hate that you are suffering and you are getting no help :-( :-( sonia

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear this news, only just started following your blog but your spirit and bravery have touched me.

    I don't know your full story, and I am sure the hospital you are in have the best specialists, but the docs seem pretty poor on the bedside care front. (Nurses seem great tho thankfully)

    Have they offered a Second Opinion? Another Hospital? Are they the second opinion?

    Sometimes these world renowned hospitals with their headhunted consultants take you on as a potential notch on their CV but when they find otherwise they give up.

    Lastly please look in your notes - sometimes what they say is not what they write down. Sometimes they don't read what others have written down. I know this to my peril.

    Thinking of you

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  7. Don't know what to say except that I'm indebted to you for all you've done and if wishes work, I wish you well, in every way.

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  8. Sue, I can't say anything except I am sending love to you and yours. XXX

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  9. Nothing I can say will be of any help but my thoughts and best wishes are sent, BUGGER it all seems so inadequate LOL (camoron version) to you Sue xxx

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  10. Sue it's amazing what you've gone through whilst retaining your humour I laughed aloud at the presents sent to IDS et al , a possible reason for all the invective being poured on us is the fact we don't tell it how it is , so we say we're fine because thats what people want to hear, take care I'm thinking about you

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  11. Thinking of you as always, You continue to be an inspiration... Sending you healing love and light... Dxxx

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  12. I am lost for words, which is a very rare occurrence. Well I'm not actually but all those I can think of would probably render this comment inappropriate for publication so all I can say is good luck, though that seems wholly inadequate.

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  13. Can only send you love and virtual support. xx

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  14. Sue - how the hell you can go on blogging as you do, with your life at such a cross-roads, amazes us all. As Debbie says, an inspiration.

    Love and peace ... Jeni

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  15. Needs to be five jars, one has to be for Carol Black.

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  16. Am thinking of you and sending all positive vibes and thoughts your way. You are a brave lady - and an inspiration to me. You and other friends in Twitter and blogs have encouraged me to get involved and try and make our voices heard.
    Feel better
    Nat

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  17. Sue, my spirit has been with you on a lot of this journey and it remains with you now. (((hugs)))

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  18. I'll never know how you manage to write so beautifully when you are suffering so much. I so much hope there can be a change of direction from this heartless bunch of morons we have in power right now. If not we can only all hope that they are dismissed from power at the earliest opportunity.

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  19. i sorry to hear the news, i don't read that often, we seem to be going back further into the dark ages rather progressing forward. These cuts are terrifying. but do love the idea of sending them bits in the post, if they spent the money supporting us, rather than the hate campaign may be people would be improving. i think a more flexible system is needed. but how can they support me in work if they can't support me out of work.take care

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  20. so sorry 2 hear this Sue. i really wish u well babe.

    take care

    love martin x x

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  21. Hello Sue signed your petition and wish this jumped up goverment was in hell.They do not believe in anybody having help and 99% of people on D.L.A are genuine.Even Used the D.L.A for his child when his idiot of a father has plenty of wealth,but then again this is typical of our goverment TWO FACED. Anyway Sue i wish you well.We know what it's like as my wife has got M.S and i have had a stroke and am in same pickle as you.I just hope you have better luck soon.

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  22. Oh fuck Sue. Seriously, bollocks, bastards and pissflaps. But enough of the politicians. For what it's worth Mark & I wish you a healthier bowel than they think and the right mindset to keep giving two fingers to everyone & everything. X

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  23. Every good wish expressed by everyone above, and a bit more. We're easy distance from Addenbrookes, if Dave ever stuck for somewhere to stay..I like the jar idea too, in fact, I'm sure lots of us could find something appropriate to put in a jar too, and send them on to those villians..xxx

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  24. what to say... sometimes the only support we can give is to witness and acknowledge the horrors with enormous empathy and compassion...
    and not to ever give up hope on the importance and dignity of the true values that you so courageously voice for all of us in similar boats
    Keep on shouting, Sue!
    x

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  25. oh Sue, all I can say is that I think of you... Always..xxxxxx

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  26. Love & wishes to you and those that love you.


    Can't think of much else to say.

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  27. I am lost for words! It is horrendous what you are having to cope with. All I can say is you are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  28. I can't think of any words to cover this. My thoughts are with you. Much love, and admiration.

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  29. Oh Sue, dreadful news. I will email you to tell you which of those also fighting for us is struggling with the reality they will never eat or drink again - but for very different reasons. Not to belittle your struggle but so you know you're not alone, in that particular detail at least.

    I will also ask my Tory MP to read this post; he may well do so as we have a constructive working relationship, albeit we don't agree on much! Love the idea of sending all the crap to IDS & co - especially as they'll all know who you are by now - they should be ashamed of themselves.

    But most of all, my overwhelming reaction is that words are not enough, but I'm glad at least that you have hundreds of supporters thinking of you at such a horrible, frightening time.

    Lots of love xxx

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  30. Absolutely dreadful news sue i feel very desperate for you but like yourself very underweight am confined to the house with the tax man breathing down my neck for owing money
    normally in the past it would have been the DWP asking for money or busting the front door down

    What has your mp got to say according to my tory mp he should have came to see you and made sure you were getting your full benefit entitlement DLA/ HIGH RATE CARE /LOW MOBILITY / and JSA at the full rate in the support group as any slip up in your care like mine in future will Result in our deaths

    Do let us know on what your mp has to say as you are top priority according to my Tory mp which is people that have to stay in hospital for extended periods of time and whose life is on the line

    take care sue and thinking of you i did send you a email but it bounces so i guess i have the wrong one

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  31. All I can say is my thoughts are with you Sue and I hope it all has a better outcome than expected!

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  32. I don't have strong enough words of contempt for those bastards so I wish you a speedy recovery so that you can send them as gift baskets. One to Mr Duncan Smith, one to Mr Freud, one to Mr Grayling and one to Ms Miller

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    1. [QUOTE]Greg Wait has left a new comment on the post "Surgical Roulette":

      I don't have strong enough words of contempt for those bastards so I wish you a speedy recovery so that you can send them as gift baskets. One to Mr Duncan Smith, one to Mr Freud, one to Mr Grayling and one to Ms Miller[/QUOTE]

      we all feel like that Greg we may get a word from ed milliband as i have asked him personally to look in on the blog here so we will have to wait and see ?

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  33. Oh Sue, you don't know me but I really feel for you in your terrible and frightening situation. Big hugs.
    We aren't all dead eyed sub human like this foul stinking vile devious monstrous self-interested slimey emollient evil vindictive sly lying pathetic excuse-for-a-government. They couldn't run a whelk stall or organise a proverbial piss-up in a brewery. They are oblivious to suffering or consequence, and have hearts of stone. They think with their wallets.
    I am thinking of you and hoping all will be well.

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  34. Oh my Goodness Sue you are such an inspiration - You face things with such an amazing attitude (I know this is very likely your way of coping - I also cope with laughter - If I am laughing I am coping I tell the docs - when they listen)

    I pray that they take just a tiny bit away and I shall worry until you are able to update us - It is so hard to see how this govt are treating people who are damn well obviously sodding ill! Yet they assume you should just get ajob and all will suddely go away and you woudl be fine again - They seem to be in cloud bloody cuckoo land, or they just dont care - That one seems more true.

    I hope they enjoy the jars you would send to them!

    I do not have words strong enough to give to this govt of uncaring *^&*^*%;s They do not realise how life long conditions like yours, or MS or Parkinsons or anythign like that - They do not care or even understand or try to how just trying to live is enough of a challenge let alone popping out to get a non existent job just to please them whilst they hide their millions and make the little people pay the tax that they are not paying.

    They make me sick!

    (((Hugs)))

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    1. Seriously, they should give you their healthy bowels and try living your life. (I know that bowel transplants aren't actually a thing, unfortunately.)

      Hoping the surgery goes as well as can be expected. Take care. x

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    2. Bowel transplants ARE a thing but they're a horrible, dangerous thing and wouldn't be considered until someone was in a much worse state than our Suey is just now.

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    3. Actually they've come a very long way on, Addenbrookes has done about 20 in the last year and they are even talking about transplantation as a first line treatment instead of permanent TPN.

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  35. Hi Sue, what really terrifying news to get. I used to think that an outrightly honest bedside manner sucked big time until I realised that I would sooner have the truth in one lump instead of a fluffy drip feed. Can't offer much except long distance prayers and support and to say how much you are in all of our thoughts. Don't let the scum in government try to grind you down.

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  36. So sorry Sue. Words are inadequate. I wish you all the luck in the world.

    Re; the jar campaign: don't forget to send a bit to James Purnell and Liam Byrne, who started all this for Labour,as well.

    When is Ed Milliband going to grow some balls and speak out about what is happening to the sick and disabled in this country?? The public remain in ignorance of what is a silent elimination of the sick. Those who do not speak out about injustice are as guilty as those who perpetrate it. Do they think the disabled don't have votes or something? As this disastrous welfare reform hits more and more people and their families, we can swing an election any way we want. They need to get scared of US.

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    1. Also maybe some in a jar for the head of Atos, and for the particular persons who assessed your DLA claim.

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  37. I'm sorry to read this, will keep fingers crossed for you.

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  38. The word "inspirational" has become something of a cliché but Sue, when I say that you truly are the most inspirational lady, I mean it sincerely. I don't think you realise how courageous and strong you really are. Just WOW! Instead of feeling sorry for yourself you inspire the rest of us to keep going and to rise up against injustice and unfairness. You're still looking out for everyone else when you perhaps should really be concentrating on yourself! You're beautiful, you're smart, you're brave and funny and you'd better breeze through this op m'lady because we love you to bits and we want you to be well again very soon. You're the same age as me and yet I feel like an immature girl by comparison to you. You have so much strength that it literally reaches out to all of us to share a piece of. Get better soon beautiful. You don't know me, but you are in my thoughts and well wishes xx

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  39. I'm sorry. Fingers crossed for you.

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  40. Just another voice to add to all the heartfelt good wishes and hopes for a less bad outcome than you fear. I am so very sorry you are suffering like this. But the jars idea rocks!

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  41. What can I say? This was a hard read but your eloquence and fighting spirit shone through! Sending some gentle cyber hugs and thoughts your way!

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  42. Brian McAlorum12 May 2012 at 21:53

    “The privilege of a life-time is being who you are”

    These are the words of Joseph Campbell, the mythologist who advised George Lucas on the Star Wars films.

    The thing is Sue… it’s often only by “living on the edge” that we get to find out who we truly are?

    When the incremental clothing of our lives and bodies begin to shorten, dwindle and diminish – we find out what is left, or more importantly, who is left?

    And there I see you… in all your finest glad rags and riches – and no one can cut that away from you or take it from you, no one…

    I have enjoyed getting to know you Sue through the sheer integrity and spirit that resides in your words. You have done ever so well to translate to all your friends who popped in to read “Suey’s Blog”, and see how she’s doing… but also in the process, get a glimpse of that same vulnerability that dwells in each of us.

    …I wish you every possible peace…

    May the force be with you…
    Brian

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  43. Thinking of you,hugs and hope from Edinburgh. x

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  44. "Oh, and PS, let's not forget my claim for DLA was rejected, social services can't help me and there are no descriptors for ESA that would mean I qualify. According to our politicians, I'm just fine."


    For anyone thinking disabled people were exaggerating about politicians deliberately having care services and social support taken away and Sue's case is just an exception, think again.

    Francis Maude, The Cabinet Office Minister, stated in a speech to Policy Exchange, the centre right think tank, that the TORIES AIM TO END STATE PROVISION OF ANY PUBLIC SERVICES.
    Even if it means they end up being run by private equity companies from tax havens.

    This includes roads, pensions and the police.

    http://www.tribunemagazine.co.uk/2012/03/tories-plan-to-wipe-out-state-services/

    Worcestershire council has already announced that they have plans to move disabled people out of the community into care homes to save money.

    http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/9661421.Cuts_could_see_disabled_moved_into_care_homes/

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    1. Essex County Council are well along this road. They are foisting vital services on to the voluntary sector whether they like it or not. It is unsustainable, illogical and impractical. What are local authorities FOR then?

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  45. You don't know me, but I've followed your campaign and I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and sending love. I can provide jars if you need them... ;)

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    1. me too and then the bastards should be made to wear the jars round their necks - y'know, like yellow stars or scarlet letters or black triangles

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  46. Sue have you tried macrobiotics? e.g.: http://www.macrobiotics.org.uk/
    Or http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/PAG00361/anti-inflammatory-food-pyramid.html ?
    Were NHS dieticians / nutritionists any help?

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  47. Is there not the possibility for you to have a bag? God this must be awful for you. :(

    Sending you lots of positive vibes.

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  48. OMG Sue I dont know how twitter works but I am sat here in tears for you I pray that they will bloody wake up and stop treating you like this!
    http://twitter.com/#!/suey2y

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  49. Sorry to hear of the situation at the moment and also ESA and DLA stuff. I know what you mean, apparently I am "fit" too, though I have heart failure, at risk of cardiac rest and have a defibrillator implanted. Goodness knows what this government is doing !!!

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  50. who is sues mp ? he or she should be going over to see her fast and if not should resign ?

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  51. So ... if you complain, it's "in your head" and if you don't complain, it's "Why did you go into denial and not tell us you were getting worse?"???

    I'm sure the late Joseph Heller would have agreed that was as stark an example of Catch-22 as anything he wrote about.

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  52. I do think you should contact PINNT and find out about the real sde of life on TPN. As your remang bowel still functions you'd be able to eat and drink as normal, you just would'nt absorb anything from it. It's only those who have loss of bowel motility that can't eat, or can only eat the odd mouthful. The vice chair of PINNT has Crohns and is the only commercial pilot in Europe to be fed via TPN.

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  53. I belong to your "club" and have done since age 21, All I can say I am better off without it and do eat and drink normally. I couldnt go back to nights trying to sleep on bathroom floor because I just lost too much blood and am effectively in shock on the bathroom floor with no energy or inclination to try and get back to the bedroom! life without is far better yes I go to the loo alot and am constantly dehydrated with ninety year old skin standing to attention on the backs of my hands while I wait for it to "spring" back into place!
    I sincerely hope you feel better soon, are you eating yet or still just on sips of water?
    Sharon x

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  54. I have no large bowel and haven't since age 21, eat and drink normally use bathroom more often as I no longer absorb fluids but much better without it, no more trying to sleep on loo floor cos I'm in shock due to blood loss! life much better now!

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  55. Makes you wonder what Iain Duncan Smith would say about this.

    This is the man who Wiki says had a CV that claimed that he had attended the University of Perugia when he had in fact attended the Università per Stranieri, which did not grant any degrees at that time, and a claim that he had attended the prestigious-sounding Dunchurch College of Management turned out to refer to some weekend courses at GEC Marconi's staff college.[11][12]

    What troubled times .....

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  56. Sue. Just a thought. I think people on TPN automatically qualify for Support Group ESA.

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  57. Your a truly remarkable woman, Sue I do so hope you make a quick recovery. x

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  58. ESA - see regulation 29(2)(b). It'll see you ok. It's not mentioned in an ESA 50, an ESA 113 or as one of the standard Lima questions, though, so you'll need to get a report from a doctor in with your ESA50 if you want to get it without an appeal.

    In the meantime, you are automatically entitled to ESA on any day on which you are a hospital inpatient.

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  59. Total 91 Deaths

    The total number of deaths SO FAR where welfare reform has some mention in dispatches as to culpability now totals 91 deaths under inquiry.

    If i were IDS or the prime minister i would think about resigning before to long as the country will at some point get to know of what has gone on behind closed doors by the DWP and ATOS

    http://calumslist.org/

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  60. Good luck Sue, you are an inspiration.It's a pity that IDS doesn't read your blog, or there again perhaps he does which makes him even more evil.
    Hugs from me

    O

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    1. [QUOTE]Anonymous has left a new comment on the post "Surgical Roulette":

      Good luck Sue, you are an inspiration.It's a pity that IDS doesn't read your blog, or there again perhaps he does which makes him even more evil.
      Hugs from me[/QUOTE]


      He does read it he couldn't help not to most in the know do and for good reason. All IDS says is that it's all false the deaths etc and that he is the protector and everyone else is wrong.

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    2. So IDS reads Sues blog andthen attacks peopel who have life long illnesses and those illnesses will just get worse. No miracle cures given by the wondrous (sarc) ATOS who deem everybody cured within 6mths from INCURABLE illnesses. That man should be ashamed of himself. This whole govt are killing people - Making the lives of disabled people ten times worse.and yet they say its all cos of fraud - Yeah right - LOOK AT YOURSELF IDS YOU ARE MORE A FRAUDSTER THAN ALL OF US SPOONIES.

      Get better soon Sue. I know 'better' is one of those words that sound like all will be well and 'better' but... I mean get back to your best that you can be. I know no miracle cure has happened and veen typing it I feel like I am writing crud (lol sorry) I just wish you the best..... I joined twitter to allay my worries but I still dont get how it works LOL

      Sarah

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  61. very sorry to hear your news Sue and sending you all best wishes. You are an inspiration to us all. thank you

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  62. Thank you Sue for being a voice for us all, and a ray of hope and inspiration. I am so sad and angry that you have had to pay such a high price. I feel that we, as a community, should honour you somehow, for all you have done.
    Those four Jars, when you present them to the bastards, can we all accompany you?
    Can we and our families, all go to the Houses of P along with you. I think we should arrive on mass bearing those jars.....along with a procession of 91 white crosses/coffins to honour those who paid with their lives for this cruel policy of austerity for the poorest and most vulnerable. I wish you all the best Sue, love & thanks Josie.

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  63. It's all a terrible situation. I myself have had two spinal operations and now need another on my neck c2 to c6 I applied for DLA and got it before my c-spine went but when I claimed again with the further problems ie my c spine they refused my cllaim. My dr was brilliant apart from thinking they were nuts ie as things were getting worse he god really mad and said right you go home and appeal and I will support it. I did this and they sent one of their drs to see me. She was amazed that I had been refused and said that she would be suggesting that I go on an even higher rate. She did and I won my appeal for the high rate mobility and middle rate care. So APPEAL and let their drs come to see you to see what you really have to deal with. Apparently it's all in the wording of how you fill out their stupid so very very long forms that seem to ask the same questions a hundred different ways in their attempt to somehow catch you out CRAZY..... SO APPEAL and get you dr behind you and welcome their drs as they are really quite sympathetic and unlike the pen pushers at the DWP are medically qualified

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  64. If someone in your circumstances can't get DLA,who on earth can? Do the DWP assessors think you should go to job interviews dragging your drip-feeding apparatus along with you?

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    1. I'm sure with their deep compassion and understanding the DWP would say that if you can manage your drip apparatus you can use a printing machine or a rotovator - they are so well meaning.

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  65. LETS take those jars to Downing street sue or the big useless house that is parliment and get the press involved and the tv and Private Eye too as they dont like atossers or unum or indeed any of the hidden agendas of the bullingdon right wing elite and so now the welfare cuts are biting BIG time (only today they are saying unemployment is down 45,000 which means more like they have dropped off the list due to time limiting NOT finding a job so more distortion)we have nothing to lose so why not protest.
    IT is a bloody scandal that you of cannot get esa or dla i mean how bloody ill do you have to be.NOPE nothing to lose now by shouting kicking and screaming so get those jars ready and even if it isnt your errr bits in em we should do it anyway to make the bloody point.
    I like also the comment on your twitter page about voting tory is an act of violence against your neighbors and is akin to putting your neighbors windows in....how very true .
    I like many many others am now in the process of conversion they call it (from long long term IB to ESA) and yes it more than likely going to be a conversion to being bloody skint so as there will be at least 500,000 (extra i would add)as of this past few weeks going to be in the same boat wwho will end up still being ill but now very much poorer then we truly are ALL in it together and if only we could harness that as ONE voice then in this day and age of who shouts the loudest wins we could really scare these bastards and bring about the change we need.MIlliband if he does read this blog should take note too that the labour vote is not to be taken as a given just because of this tory govts attack on us all .WE will vote for you ONLY if the promise to repeal and not replace it with anything more draconian (and remember ED we know it was cooper and balls who started this anyway.....so beware...)and lets get back to fairness and humanity .Oh and ED if you do read this why not get in touch with sue and actually help her and IDS if YOU read this you should be ashamed and rushing to the phone and kicking your won department up its own backside to help this lady...BUT i bet you dont BUT ED MILLIBAND the phone should already be in your hand matey...anything less and well you can kiss my vote goodbye...Help all the sick and disabled and you sunshine just might be the next bloke in number 10.Dont help and you just might not be and i wouldnt take this as idle chatter mate cos we are ALL VERY VERY ANGRY....hmm sue bit of a rant there but i dont do twitter...dont know how so here i rant....thinking of you even though we have never met but you are an inspiration and i hope you are home soon...

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  66. Really sorry to hear this Sue, I really hope that your health improves and that you can enjoy life again. Sadly it looks things in general are to get worse with PIP and now Scameron is talking now about 25 billion of welfare cuts which is basically impossible to take in a civilised society without untold misery.

    Many Condems and Blairites, etc, think these reforms have been popular, they have some voter support, but it took a massive state sponsored (inc the BBC), campaign of smears, lies, misinformation and propaganda to undermine the welfare system, target claimants, which has imo degraded the State and the polity. Now that the reality of such cuts and harrassment are becoming clear, with many suicides in the last year, families being forced to move acrosss the country, social cleansing (ironically this is what happened in the old Eastern Bloc) I sense the majority public mood is changing.

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  67. If you want to see how far the Condems and their fellow travellers will go, have a look at this on This Morning:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=m6LpcwUrtq8


    I was shocked and rather chilled to hear the hard right columnist and commentator Carol Malone assert that the possible reason for the terrible fire in which the Philpot family have lost six children is that there was a lot of animosity towards them on the estate because of the number of children they and that they were claiming benefits, had a big council house, etc.…

    I watched it again to ensure I heard right, she clearly wasn’t condoning the action but imo, appeared to explain (and in this light understand it) in terms that they had a big family and like other big families “who took advantage” of benefits and were ‘high profile’ was a problem and other people who "were struggling in the economic climate'' were bitter and that they ‘were an “accident waiting to happen” and had a direct causal link to the terrible events.

    This is appalling, I know Malone is a another Liddle, but this should be taken seriously: she doesn’t yet know if it was a deliberate act, she doesn’t live on the estate and can’t know the general feeling, her prejudices were showing and she appeared to equate being on benefits with expectations of reactions from neighbours, etc .It is clear though that the constant barrage of anti-welfare stories and propaganda is having an effect.

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    Replies
    1. In this most tragic of news IDS or malone will try to equate being on benefits with expectations of reactions from neighbours,With their mindset they why to far to right in politics and should have been made to stand down from the front bench years ago just as Enoch Powell did with his rivers of blood speech

      There are people dying at this time and going through a massive amount of mental stress and this cant continue in a civilized society and just hope and pray that the police step in and tell him to stop or arrest him for partly being responsible for leading policy's in which people die through the stress or end up committing suicide

      As a conservative myself i am absolutely horrified that this type of person and David Cameron are able to run the country in this mad way as mad is what it is and am sure i will be proved right one day and that justice will be served on them

      All labour have to do to win the next election is just to read out each week at prime ministers questions those have died through these reforms and they will win hands down as i know of no genuine conservative who supports this style of government

      Delete
  68. Have a look at the Mac cartoon in the on-line Daily (hate) Mail today. The spirit of Julius Streicher and Der Sturmer is alive and well, except it is the disabled and not the Jewish
    population.

    O (Owen)

    ReplyDelete
  69. So sorry to read your blog entry. All the very best. I wish I could offer you some avenue of help that would bring improvement, if not to your health, then to the general situation. I am sure you have tried everything, from Social Services assistance, to requesting a visit from your MP at your bedside. The latter ought to make at least one politician squirm.

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  70. Byrne to attack IDS for 'demonising' disabled
    http://www.politicshome.com/uk/article/53668/ids_demonising_disabled_people_byrne_to_claim.html

    ReplyDelete
  71. I really feel it for you Sue and wish you to get as well as is possible.

    As ill as Mum was and I am now alone and having to cope with all kinds of worries when I want to grieve for my loss(good job Mum did not know how bad things would be for me and what is likely in the future)

    The cost of the funeral, Mum's meagre savings will go to probate...the solicitor will take another hefty chunk of what remains unless I can do it myself...

    Then if I do come into it the help I get stops and then they say they'll help me again but the hoops I may have to jump through and the criteria having been changed there is no guarantee that they will help me...

    When I come into Mum's money I have to pay full rent, most of my community charge, utility bills, food(I have to keep bills to show I am not trying to go back on welfare)If I could tell them to stuff it I would I hate having to take their financial help. Believe me doing all the above it ain't going to last long.

    They want to see I am not getting rid of it, giving it to family and friends, so I can get welfare again. There aren't any!

    I'm looking for a cheap duel gas and elecric deal...I am switching off all that I can to save electric. Trying to eat on a really low budget and portion things out so they'll go further.

    Avoiding switching the gas central heating on, wearing thermal underwear/long john's, pyjamas, a dressing gown, lounge trousers, termal socks.

    Using hot water bottles, filling flasks with boiling water to avoid boiling the kettle, extra blankets on the bed, buying jumpers at the Banardoes charity shop where all clothing costs 99p.

    I feel as though I have gone back to the middle ages...

    I have difficulty remembering Mum's voice and the conversations we had :-(

    But even up to a few weeks before she passed away she used to say how can one man(Cameron)do so much harm to so many genuinely poor and sick people and why, when he is so well off and doesn't have to worry about such things himself.

    Next year I do worry what is to happen but I did manage to pay for a TV license, telephone line rental(I managed to get a reduction on the line rental of £3.49 per month)and my internet(free for six months)I have put £70 aside to pay for the remaining six months. So I won't go stir crazy looking at four walls and only listening to a radio for company. And its cost me 90p a day for the TV and internet. What can you do for that amount?

    Of course I may get rid of the tv in the future I don't watch that much and if careful you can watch some tv on the net without havingto pay the license, that will save £145 a year.

    I hope that I can manage to pay the utility bills otherwise I really will be in trouble...

    ReplyDelete
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