As if all that travelling malarkey isn't exhausting enough, the lifts were out at Clapham Junction and a porter faced with me, a cane and a heavy bag just shrugged and left me at the bottom of an endless flight of stairs.
He didn't come back and having watched two adjoining trains to beanbag-ville, Sussex, leave without me, I batted my eyelashes at a man mountain fella, asking him to carry my bag and crawled up the steps on all fours.
So, for anyone considering attending the Paralypics - including athletes, we're not quite there yet. You may want to reschedule until 3012
To cheer myself up on the ouchity-bumpity train journey back, I wrote some limericks about silly politicians. Hope they cheer you all up too.
It started with a dare that I couldn't write a limerick about Jeremy Hunt without dropping a c-bomb.....
There once was a dandy named Hunt,
who achieved an incredible stunt.
Though he lied through his teeth
He demanded belief
On deception he led from the front.
There once was a knobber called Dave
Who had a whole nation to save
He tried in morning
But soon started yawning
More fun to make poor people slaves
You know that ex-soldier called IDS?
His attachment to workfare and fibs?
Well his Nazi salutes
And impeccable suits
Won't save the disabled wee kids
Oh Gideon give us a break
From your chums who are all on the take
If you must take our cash
Give it back in a flash
Or we'll show you the garlic and stake
And then there's the asshat called Grayling
Who's work programme seems to be failing
He eats little babies
And lunches in Hades
But his favourite hobby's impaling.
Oh Theresa now who have you spooked?
In your jackets that look like you puked?
You've upset the police
Tell us when will it cease?
Or are we just all to be nuked?